Commentary by H.G. Listiak

Monday 4/19/2004

Welcome to My World, where at last ther is a medical epiphony, a research reversal, that is encouraging to those of the male gender who perhaps are, shall we say sensually sensitive. Prostate cancer has been a brutal killer of men for decades in America. It's curable if detected early, with the detecting a rather, shall we say, painful penitrative procedure that most men procrastinate and avoid. In the darker ages of sex-search, it was thought that because of various germs and viruses, that frequent sexual experiences enhanced the chance of prostate cancer. Ah, but here comes the light at the end of the tunnel, the knight in shining armor. It's Dr. Durado Brooks, the Director of Prostate Cancer for the American Cancer Society. His research refutes and reverses the old fashioned celibate theory, in a study involving over 29 thousand gentlemen willing to open their boudoirs to science. It showed that those who had 4 to 7 sexual, shall we say summits, were less at risk than their less active bretheren, but more at risk of prostate cancer than more robust romeos who had, shall we say, pinnacle experiences 13 to 21 times a month. The most active, I'm afraid I must call them athletes, reduced their risk by 14 to 33 percent, depending upon how much ammo was fired through the old gun. This research opens the door for a flood of male begging and more excuses, by far eclipsing the old dinosaurs like, "I'm breaking out" or "I'm all cramped up." Now the begging bachelor or the hopeful hubby can dig deep into the depth of their darling's guilt by claiming that close encounters of the first kind will prolong their life. "You don't want me to die do you?" A tough question and one that you may not want to be honestly answered. You know, I just knew it was a mistake not investing in Viagra when I had the chance, as I see it ... I'm H.G. Listiak.