HGs World Commentary
Commentary by H.G. Listiak
Its Not My Fault - Its My Enzymes

Tuesday 3/30/2004

Welcome to My World, where as Americans continue to bulk up, becmoing fat-icans, we find once again that the bodacious belly and bulging butt is not our fault. Nothing seems to be our fault anymore. Lots of blame to pass around for the pachyderm posterior. Now we've got a couple of more things other than McDonalds and carbs to blame for the high rate of obesity in America. Researchers at the Louisiana State University system's Pennington Biomedical Research Center say corn products used to sweeten soft drinks are to blame. Checking records from the Department of Agriculture for 1967 through 2000, they found an increase in high fructose corn sweeteners was coincidental with the epidemic of obesity. They say unlike cane and beet sugars it's more likely to be converted into fat. But wait, wait, it may not be the fault of corn or the golden arches, for all the fat. Here come more researchers from Harvard, saying it's a brain enzyme that is helping us put on the pounds. They call it A.M.P.K. which seems like a good name for an enzyme. The scientists, of course picking on mice for their experiments, found that when AMPK was inhibited, the mice ate less and lost weight. When AMPK levels were boosted, the mice ate more and gained weight. Now this is all well and good if you happen to be a rotund rodent, which inspires me to think about some of my own research to maybe prove that being too fat is not your fault, and maybe dipping into that never ending cornucopia of cash that comes flowing when you research no fault fat. The problem I'm having is finding tiny lttle handcuffs for my mice so I can prove that the less, at least mice, stuff in their mouths, the less they will eat and the less weight they will gain, and it won't even be their preference or choice or their fault, as I see it ... I'm H.G. Listiak.

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