Commentary by H.G. Listiak

Friday 12/5/2003

Welcome to my world. I have a few thoughts on a single word today. The word is "mandatory." Apparently corporate managers don't realize it's impact; what the word does to us dirt workers. I had a couple of mandatory meetings the other day. I was not invited to the sessions, I was mandated, which changed the whole tone of the meetings. Was I back in the military? Then I was happy to follow orders for God and country. The word mandatory made me feel like I had no options. The word bothers me in the work place because it never gives you alternatives or the penalties for violating the mandate. It's a veiled threat. So what's the price you pay for going awol from a mandatory meeting? Will you be chastized, mesmerized, or simonized? Will you be fined, shot, dipped in boiling oil, or forced to watch re-runs of Jerry Springer? Will your name, actually number, go into some bad guy file, or will they miss the fact that you missed? The funny thing about being mandated to a meeting is that they are usually concerned with something that is supposed to make you happy. In other words, you are now ordered to hear how happy you should be, especially since you've been mandated to be that way. So let me be so bold as to make a suggestion for the corporate bosses to mull over before meeting with us working stiffs. To cheer us into more happy productivity, show some respect. Invite us to your meeting, with words like "we would like to have you be part of a mutually beneficial meeting at which your thoughts and ideas would be welcome, as we pump another load of sunshine up your butt." Either that or "it's a mandatory meeting so we can give you a big bonus check." That would work too, as I see it ... I'm H.G. Listiak.