Commentary by H.G. Listiak
No Stress Allowed In Denver
Welcome to my world, where I've spent a lot of time in the rare air of the Mile High City, Denver, Colorado. It's kind of a melting pot of life styles and idealogies. You've got your skin tight wranglers, boots and red necks, you've got your flannel shirted, baggy panted tree huggers with both genders sprouting arm pit hair, you've got a very large gay community, and your well pressed business suits with tassles on their shoes when it's not too cold. It's all snuggled nicely 'neath the shadow of the majestic Rocky Mountains. You would think that stress would be the least of their worries, but apparently not, at least in the eyes of Jeff Pickman, a petition passing peacenik with a new cause, stress. He has enough signatures to put his initiative 101 on the November 4th ballot. This would require the city to implement stress reduction measures like mass meditation sessions, soothing music in public buildings and only natural foods in school cafeterias. He claims this will reduce crime and terrorism, and net financial gain for the city of Denver. The initiative is opposed by the entire city council, now suddenly taking it seriously. In the wake of the even global attention given Peckman and his cause, they admit stress is a problem, but it's a personal thing, not the government's worry. So let's look ahead. Should the initiative pass, will it get to the point of enforcement by way of a lawsuit adjudicated in the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in California? Could a stressed out person who refused the mass meditation go before a judge? I can see it now. Mr. Bryant, you have been found guilty of stress. You are sentenced to a week at Estes Park, where you will meditate, learn the sitar, eat organic foods, and recite the mantras of Ghandi, a true Rocky Mountain high, as I see it ... I'm H.G. Listiak.